I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
