If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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