Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
