Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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