Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
