they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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