WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize