i just wanna soil my oats bro
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize