did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
