God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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