My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
