Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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