1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
