I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I am mentally ready for anal.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
