i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
