Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
