Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
