We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
