You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
