it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
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