I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
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I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
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