just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
