as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
