the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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