Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
