My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
