If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
