he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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