She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
