I wish i was in the wii world.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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