i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize