Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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