Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
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