Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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