the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
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