It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
