I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
