I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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