Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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