i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
