So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
