Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
God I need to hump something, right now.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
