New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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