One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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