I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
