You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
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she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
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Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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