Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
