plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
