No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
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i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
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