i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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