help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
