Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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