i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
She needs sedatives and a leash
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
