I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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