Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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