and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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