it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
