My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
