whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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