GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
