this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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